LA FUUUUUUUU
by Markus the Hedgehog
Summary: L.A. Noire except with Sonic characters and swearing. Lots. Rated T for strong language.
1. Chapter 1

L.A. FUUUUU Chapter 1: The Discovery of the Internet.

A/N The story is L.A. Noire, except Sonic Style! Also, there will be swearing. Lots for that matter.

Tails was walking down the street until he heard gunshots. "HOLY SHI-" His sentence was cut off by Shadow driving past in a fast car. Tails looked at the car, and jumped through the window and instead landed on his bike. "Lets do thi- then Shadow nudged him with his car and he fell.

When Tails FINALLY got to the scene after 4 hours, the victim of the shooting was Knuckles. Knuckles grabbed him, shoved his mouth in his ear and said "Shit". This caused everyone to grab some sort of gun and start to fire upon him.

When Knuckles got out of hospital 6 minutes later, the same crowd who shot him were eating pancakes. Knuckles then walked up to Tails, kicked him in the balls and started to shout "PAAAANCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAKKKKEEEESSS!".

Tails then slapped him and decided to become a detective. When he walked into the building, he seen computers everywhere. "What the fuck is this?" Sonic then faceplanted his ass and started to talk muffled. "SPEAK LOUDER SONIC, I THINK YOUR HEAD IS TOO FAR UP MY ASS."

12 seconds later he was on his first case without any introduction to his chief and partner, Sonic.

Random much? I don't give a shit. This time I am going to try my best to keep this updated as much as possible.


	2. Chapter 2

L.A. FUUUUU Chapter 2: I think the Killer is in another castle…

Tails and Sonic are on their first case. While Sonic was using up all his lives by driving over a cliff, Tails was looking for clues on the body. "Hmm… looks like shi-" Then Sonic hit him with the car. Then Tails realized…. the only person who shits themselves when they hurt someone is Big the Cat! So Tails had another journey. Climbing up Candy Mountain. So Tails killed Big the Cat. When he got back, he was trying to identify the easily identified body. 14 hours later, Tails had went to sleep in his car. When he woke up, his sack was in Sonic's face. Sonic then yawned, and saw Tails' sack. He then grabbed a knife and started to cut his… he forgot. Sonic has ADHD.

Anyway, Tails had identified the case body and realized…..it was Cream! DUNDUNDUUUUUUUN. So Sonic started to violently beat the dead body until the body shat itself. "STOP MOTHERFUCKER. PUT YO' HANDS UP WHERE AH CAYN SEE DEM." Tails then made a speech to Sonic in a black gangster voice. Go ahead. Re-read this from where Tails said stop. Weird imagining that isn't it?

Eventually, Tails went to court and blamed it on Knuckles, for appropriate reasons, and made him lose his job as Vector's pimp. All you heard as Knuckles was being dragged to prison was "EMMMRDOOOODSZSZZSZZZZ…." He had also broken his wrists by punching the iron bars. Since he couldn't work, he had to pick between watching EVERY SINGLE FUCKING SEASON of Pokemon, or 2 episodes of My Little Pony. He picked Sonic X. He then was repeatedly raped by a black man until he picked one. He then picked My Little Pony. After 12 seconds, he proudly watched them all.

Meanwhile, Tails was investigating a case in that castle across from your house. Yes. I'm watching you. Ah cayn smell chu.

Ah cayn smell dat roast cheekin comin from dat oven o' yours. Ok, I'll stop now. Tails had to investigate the castles funeral parlor. He had seen a sign on the door which said: Please wear black people. "WHAT!?" Tails shouted. The sign below it said: This is why commas were made everyone… Tails nodded. He turned around and slapped Sonic for not becoming his Phoenix Wright in court. Tails then looked at his Mickey Mouse watch and saw that is was 12:08 PM. He then busted out his pasta snack pot. He devoured it in ten seconds flat. Then, Sonic texted him though he was right behind him saying: hai d00d. I herd u like mudkipz plz accept 1. Tails replied with perfect grammar saying: So you said "plz" instead of please. Please tell me about how many nanoseconds you saved… with a Willy Wonka image.

Tails followed the ironically placed bloody footsteps up to the balcony which it shown the killer on a picture in the castle. "You better not say it…" Tails said. "What?" Sonic said. "Mario…." "Oh… I think I know what you mean. Tails…? I think the killer is in another castle." "SON OF A BITCH! Y U DO TIS 2 MEH?" Then, Tails looked outside at a lonely hedgehog, who was getting hassled by Pothead the Porcupine (Silver the Hedgehog) who was trying to get them high. Tails drop-kicked the pothead and went up to the hedgehog and said "What the fuck was he doing?" "I don't know. What's your name?" "My name is Tails the Fo-" Then Sonic drop-kicked him and said to the hedgehog "Ehhh… hi?" "Hi!" Sonic then shown the wedding ring. The hedgehog said "How did you know that I'm a girl? And single?" "I didn't." So they happily got married and found out each others names. Tails' head chief and texted him saying that Knuckles is out of prison and is his new partner, since his cousin was.

Right. The end of the chapter. I also went 425 words over last time and I am happy with this. The hedgehog Sonic married was an author on this site called Reala the Hedgehog. I read one or two of her stories, and the plotlines are pretty great.

Next chapter: The racist echidna's revenge.


End file.
